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  <title>Quixotic Dissonance</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/</link>
  <description>Quixotic Dissonance - LiveJournal.com</description>
  <lastBuildDate>Tue, 11 Mar 2008 00:55:15 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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  <lj:journal>katann23</lj:journal>
  <lj:journalid>1321290</lj:journalid>
  <lj:journaltype>personal</lj:journaltype>
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    <title>Quixotic Dissonance</title>
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<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/29818.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 11 Mar 2008 00:55:15 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>I&apos;m a clutz</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/29818.html</link>
  <description>So, I managed to drop my phone into the dog&apos;s water dish, thereby ruining my phone.  I have gotten a replacement phone, however, all they were unable to retrieve my phonebook or pictures.  Which really sucks.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, basically I don&apos;t have anyone&apos;s phone number anymore.  Please text, call, or message me your phone number if&apos;n you want me to have it.  &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This really sucks.  Don&apos;t feel like being at home now, but alas, I can not even call anyone. *sniff*</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/29818.html</comments>
  <category>suckage</category>
  <lj:music>You Chase the Light - The Innocence Mission</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">You Chase the Light - The Innocence Mission</media:title>
  <lj:mood>confused</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>6</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/28437.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 11 Nov 2007 04:23:11 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Heh...</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/28437.html</link>
  <description>&lt;div style=&quot;background:#fff; text-align:center; padding:8px 32px;margin:0px 10%;border:8px #900 solid;color:#000&quot;&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://thesurrealist.co.uk/images/shakespeare.gif&quot; width=&quot;120&quot; height=&quot;120&quot; alt=&quot;William Shakespeare&quot; style=&quot;float:left&quot;&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;font-size:1.6em;font-family:georgia, times new roman; margin:16px; color:#000&quot;&gt;Look like the innocent flower, but be the katann23 under&apos;t.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://thesurrealist.co.uk/shakespeare.php?word=katann23&amp;amp;ans=96&quot; style=&quot;color:#770&quot;&gt;Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;form action=&quot;http://thesurrealist.co.uk/shakespeare.php&quot; method=&quot;get&quot;&gt;Get your own quotes: &lt;input type=&quot;text&quot; name=&quot;word&quot; size=&quot;10&quot;&gt; &lt;input type=&quot;submit&quot; value=&quot;Generate&quot; class=&quot;button&quot;&gt;&lt;/form&gt;&lt;br clear=&quot;all&quot;&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/28437.html</comments>
  <category>stuff</category>
  <lj:mood>relaxed</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/25704.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 01 Jun 2007 13:16:39 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Pondering the Podness</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/25704.html</link>
  <description>So, I&apos;ve been working too much to actually read books.  Even my Pratchett has fallen by the wayside.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, I&apos;ve decided to download podcast book thingies to listen to while I am washing dishes at the deli because that&apos;s probably a whole lot better than making my co-workers listen to me sing to the really queer music I enjoy. (And I do mean queer in all senses of the word, really...)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In any case, does listening to a podcast of a book count as reading a book?  I&apos;m just curious...</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/25704.html</comments>
  <category>podcasts</category>
  <category>life</category>
  <category>books</category>
  <category>work</category>
  <lj:music>PYT - Michael Jackson</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">PYT - Michael Jackson</media:title>
  <lj:mood>thirsty</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>4</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/25174.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 24 May 2007 20:26:06 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>For Babies:  Microwave on high for 10 seconds...</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/25174.html</link>
  <description>Only in Texas...or maybe Florida...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;What the fuckity fuck?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/4828219.html&quot;&gt;http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/4828219.html&lt;/a&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/25174.html</comments>
  <category>wtf</category>
  <category>odd_news</category>
  <lj:music>Lose Yourself - Eminem</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Lose Yourself - Eminem</media:title>
  <lj:mood>crazy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/24376.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2007 02:24:31 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Websites</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/24376.html</link>
  <description>I am bored of looking at the same three sites on the interwebs.  I am requesting that everyone send me three links to go check out.  Please entertain me...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thanks!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Side note:  These links should not be anything that &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser ljuser-name_z_kungfu&apos; lj:user=&apos;z_kungfu&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://z-kungfu.livejournal.com/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;17&apos; height=&apos;17&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://z-kungfu.livejournal.com/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;z_kungfu&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt; would post...</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/24376.html</comments>
  <category>bored</category>
  <lj:mood>blank</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>3</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/23858.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 11 May 2007 13:08:24 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>You Know You Wanna...</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/23858.html</link>
  <description>Come out and see me in my fantastically awesome gnome pants and fuzzy slippers...Plus you can hang out with Ann, Trudy, and I which is always an adventure!!!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://kulture.us/may12.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;&quot;&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/23858.html</comments>
  <category>kulture</category>
  <lj:music>Back In Black - ACDC</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Back In Black - ACDC</media:title>
  <lj:mood>silly</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>1</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/23569.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 10 May 2007 19:31:39 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>*Snort*</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/23569.html</link>
  <description>But, maybe not *that* funny...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sorry dear, no blow job for you, it will give me &lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn11819&amp;feedId=online-news_rss20&quot;&gt;http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn11819&amp;feedId=online-news_rss20&lt;/a&gt;.</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/23569.html</comments>
  <category>sex</category>
  <category>odd_news</category>
  <lj:music>Pussy - Brazilian Girls</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Pussy - Brazilian Girls</media:title>
  <lj:mood>sore</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>2</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/23507.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 07 May 2007 19:27:17 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Along Came a Spider...</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/23507.html</link>
  <description>I&apos;m not even afraid of spiders, but um, gross...I&apos;m kind of twitching, especially since a giant spider just jumped on me while I was taking a smoke break...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/06/AR2007050600806.html&quot;&gt;http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/06/AR2007050600806.html&lt;/a&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/23507.html</comments>
  <category>wtf</category>
  <category>odd_news</category>
  <lj:music>Text Message Break Up - Kelly</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Text Message Break Up - Kelly</media:title>
  <lj:mood>curious</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/22775.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 01 May 2007 13:26:45 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>You know it&apos;s going to be a good day when...</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/22775.html</link>
  <description>So, this morning is my first day back in the office.  Last night when I was leaving Kulture, &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser ljuser-name_z_kungfu&apos; lj:user=&apos;z_kungfu&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://z-kungfu.livejournal.com/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;17&apos; height=&apos;17&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://z-kungfu.livejournal.com/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;z_kungfu&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt; noticed that my right rear tired was really low.  This morning when I got up I found a nice big nail sticking out of it.  Went to the shop, got it patched for the moment, although truly I really need some new tires, and I&apos;m in the office now.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thanks, Scott, for noticing I was flat.  I probably wouldn&apos;t have and then I would have likely blown a tire or something on I-40 like I did last time this happened.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also, &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser ljuser-name_mrs_esterhaus&apos; lj:user=&apos;mrs_esterhaus&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://mrs-esterhaus.livejournal.com/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;17&apos; height=&apos;17&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://mrs-esterhaus.livejournal.com/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;mrs_esterhaus&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt; mentioned once that if I&apos;m too broke to buy new tires, I may be able to get used tired for my car...Does anyone have any suggestions on where to go for this, or a reasonably priced place to get tires in general?  And, um, I kind of need a new tail light in order to pass inspection as I kinda ran into a telephone pole back in October when I was trying to drive in reverse and check my voicemail at the same time.  Any recommendations on somewhere cheap to get this done as well?  I need to get my car inspected, so I guess I can&apos;t quit putting off these repairs anymore...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And I guess while I asking all these questions...As I&apos;m about to be broker than I already am, um, does anyone want to be my sugar daddy/momma?  Heh...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Guess I&apos;ll try to sort through the rubble on my desk now. Sigh...</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/22775.html</comments>
  <category>life</category>
  <category>car</category>
  <category>solicitation</category>
  <lj:music>Don&apos;t Fear The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Don&apos;t Fear The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult</media:title>
  <lj:mood>aggravated</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>11</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/21506.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 20 Apr 2007 14:17:11 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>You can dance if you want to...</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/21506.html</link>
  <description>&lt;center&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i70/thoths_flail/flyer.jpg&quot; alt=&quot;Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/center&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Just in case you hadn&apos;t heard.  Be there... It&apos;s going to be crazy fun! :)</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/21506.html</comments>
  <category>kulture</category>
  <category>friends</category>
  <lj:music>I Bet That You Look Good On The Dance Floor - Arctic Monkeys</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">I Bet That You Look Good On The Dance Floor - Arctic Monkeys</media:title>
  <lj:mood>horny</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>4</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/21087.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 16 Apr 2007 13:08:20 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Come on, you know you want to...</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/21087.html</link>
  <description>&lt;center&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v474/endergrl/flyer.jpg&quot; /&gt;&lt;/center&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/21087.html</comments>
  <category>kulture</category>
  <category>friends</category>
  <lj:music>Safety Dance - Men Without Hats</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Safety Dance - Men Without Hats</media:title>
  <lj:mood>chipper</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>4</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/13264.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 05 Feb 2007 17:59:55 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Well, gosh, I just thought I needed to fart...</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/13264.html</link>
  <description>Gambler Gives Birth on New Jersey Casino Floor&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Posted: Today at 7:23 a.m. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. — A woman playing the penny slots Saturday morning left the Resorts Atlantic City casino with her own little jackpot - a new baby boy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Eight-months pregnant Nyree Thompson, 32, went into labor on the casino floor about 9:30 a.m.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thompson said she mistook labor pains for gas at first, but after going to the restroom told a security guard that she might be giving birth.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thompson said the guard thought she was joking. Then her water broke.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;A guard came over and said, &apos;Don&apos;t push,&apos;&quot; Thompson said. &quot;I said, &apos;Forget you, this baby is coming right now!&apos;&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Minutes later, a boy weighing less than 5 pounds was born. Thompson named him Qualeem.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Four security guards helped Thompson deliver the baby, wrapping the child in a jacket until paramedics arrived at about 9:40 a.m., said Steve Callender, vice president of operations at Resorts.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Despite being premature, Qualeem was doing fine.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Callender, who has worked at Resorts since it opened in 1978, said the birth was a first for the casino as far as he knew. &quot;We&apos;ve had people die here,&quot; he said, &quot;but we&apos;ve never had people born here.&quot;</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/13264.html</comments>
  <category>wtf</category>
  <category>odd_news</category>
  <lj:music>Let Him Dangle - Elvis Costello</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Let Him Dangle - Elvis Costello</media:title>
  <lj:mood>silly</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/11368.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2007 23:05:56 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Heh....</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/11368.html</link>
  <description>*Snort*&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ohgizmo.com/2007/01/29/a-treadmill-for-your-dog/&quot;&gt;http://www.ohgizmo.com/2007/01/29/a-treadmill-for-your-dog/&lt;/a&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/11368.html</comments>
  <category>dogs</category>
  <category>funny</category>
  <lj:music>Jumping Someone Else&apos;s Train - The Cure</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Jumping Someone Else&apos;s Train - The Cure</media:title>
  <lj:mood>amused</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>3</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/9828.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 25 Jan 2007 23:41:51 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Attention Fearless Leaders, Meatshields, and Random Cannon Fodder...</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/9828.html</link>
  <description>Sunday, Kulture, 9:00p.m.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;We will be gathering to discuss zombie apocalypse survival tactics.  Be there or be zombie treats.  &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sincerely,&lt;br /&gt;Kath, the one true zombie apocalypse survival leader...</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/9828.html</comments>
  <category>zombies</category>
  <category>kulture</category>
  <category>meatshields</category>
  <lj:music>the sound of zombie survival discussion</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">the sound of zombie survival discussion</media:title>
  <lj:mood>devious</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>16</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/8486.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 19 Jan 2007 16:26:59 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Hmmm...Should I be concerned?</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/8486.html</link>
  <description>&lt;table width=&quot;350&quot; align=&quot;center&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td bgcolor=&quot;#EEE9E9&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif&quot; style=&quot;color:black; font-size: 14pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;You Are 40% Sociopath&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td bgcolor=&quot;#FFFAFA&quot;&gt;&lt;center&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://images.blogthings.com/areyouasociopathquiz/sociopath-2.jpg&quot; height=&quot;100&quot; width=&quot;100&quot;&gt;&lt;/center&gt;&lt;font color=&quot;#000000&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;From time to time, you may be a bit troubled and a bit too charming for your own good.&lt;br /&gt;It&apos;s likely that you&apos;re not a sociopath... just quite smart and a bit out of the mainstream!&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.blogthings.com/areyouasociopathquiz/&quot;&gt;Are You A Sociopath?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/8486.html</comments>
  <category>quiz</category>
  <lj:music>Witchcraft - Frank Sinatra</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Witchcraft - Frank Sinatra</media:title>
  <lj:mood>dorky</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>8</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/7131.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 12 Jan 2007 18:14:05 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Guitar Hero</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/7131.html</link>
  <description>So, a friend of mine was supposed to meet up with me at Cup after the gym tonight. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She just messaged me to tell me that she thinks she needs to go straight home after work because she is tired, and by tired she means she needs to go play more guitar hero.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Heh.  Can&apos;t fault a girl for having needs... That game is crack.</description>
  <comments>http://katann23.livejournal.com/7131.html</comments>
  <category>video games</category>
  <lj:music>Crazy - Gnarls Barkley</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Crazy - Gnarls Barkley</media:title>
  <lj:mood>geeky</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>14</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/6658.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 11 Jan 2007 18:25:52 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Repost from Maranda - Funny!</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/6658.html</link>
  <description>This made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself.  Really.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;25 funniest analogies - Collected by high school English teachers&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Supposedly taken from actual high school essays and collected by English teachers across the country for their own amusement. Some of these kids may have bright futures as humor writers. What do you think?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife&apos;s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn&apos;t.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you&apos;re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan&apos;s teeth.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.</description>
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  <category>funny</category>
  <lj:music>Never Mine - Tracy Chapman</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Never Mine - Tracy Chapman</media:title>
  <lj:mood>amused</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
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  <pubDate>Wed, 10 Jan 2007 00:32:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Book List 2006</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/6507.html</link>
  <description>So here it is.  The list of books I read in 2006.  My goal was to read at least one book per month, and I met that goal, however, for the most part I think I really read a bunch of trash last year.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;1.  Cook-Off: Recipe Fever In America Amy Sutherland&lt;br /&gt;2.  Conversations With The Fat Girl Liza Palmer&lt;br /&gt;3.  Good In Bed Jennifer Weiner&lt;br /&gt;4.  So Many Books, So Little Time&lt;br /&gt;5.  Book Lust 2&lt;br /&gt;6.  Veronica Mary Gatskill&lt;br /&gt;7.  Case Histories - Kate Atkinson&lt;br /&gt;8.  Guards! Guards! - Terry Pratchett&lt;br /&gt;9.  Men At Arms - Terry Pratchett&lt;br /&gt;10. Wasted - marya hornbacher&lt;br /&gt;11. The Glass Castle - jeanette walls&lt;br /&gt;12. Jingo - Terry Pratchett&lt;br /&gt;13. Ordeal - Linda Lovelace&lt;br /&gt;14. The Action Heroine&apos;s Handbook - Jennifer Worick &amp; Joe Borgenicht&lt;br /&gt;15. World War Z - Max Brooks&lt;br /&gt;16. Postsecret - Frank Warren&lt;br /&gt;17.  Magic For Beginners - Kelly Link&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This was the year I discovered Terry Pratchett.  Love him.  I had read Good Omens a couple years ago and assumed it was Neal Gaiman I liked because I love the Sandman comics, however, I got bored with every Gaiman book I tried to read, so when Michael Williams gave me a couple of the Discworld series books to read I figured I&apos;d give them a shot.  Love them.  Pratchett is hilarious.  I&apos;m not a big sci-fi fan, but these are incredible books and I&apos;d recommend them highly.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Other notable reads - &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Glass Castle.  Interesting read, though pretty depressing.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Magic For Beginners.  I&apos;d like someone to read this book, just so I can try to make sense of some of the stories.  And any book with a story called &quot;Some Zombie Contigency Plans&quot; can&apos;t be all bad.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;World War Z.  I *heart* surviving the zombie apocalypse.  &apos;Nuff said.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Working on my book list for 2007.  Currently on the list are Hannibal Rising, Mirror, Mirror, and more Pratchett.  If anyone has additional suggestions, I&apos;ll take them.  Goal for this year?  At least two books per month.</description>
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  <category>books</category>
  <category>goals</category>
  <lj:music>Every Day Is Halloween - Ministry</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Every Day Is Halloween - Ministry</media:title>
  <lj:mood>content</lj:mood>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/6394.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 07 Jan 2007 23:05:37 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Why the Hell Not...</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/6394.html</link>
  <description>So, I&apos;m not really using the blogspot blog anymore.  Trudy has convinced me to start using my Live Journal again, so we&apos;ll see how it goes.  Cuz&apos; you know I need one more thing to take up all that extra time that I have.  I think I&apos;m just looking for more fun things to do with my shiny new laptop when I&apos;m sitting at the Cup.  I mean, more useful than IMing the people sitting ten feet away from me. Heh.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ok, now to download some crap onto my laptop.  I&apos;m trying to hold off on loading games onto my computer because then I&apos;m afraid I&apos;ll be lost for good.</description>
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  <lj:music>Some James Brown or something...</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Some James Brown or something...</media:title>
  <lj:mood>awake</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>3</lj:reply-count>
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  <pubDate>Sun, 21 Aug 2005 18:55:10 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>New Blog</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/6036.html</link>
  <description>I&apos;ll still probably sporadically post the quizzes at LJ, but new blog is here:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://katann23.blogspot.com/&quot;&gt;http://katann23.blogspot.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;We&apos;ll see if I manage to post with more frequency.</description>
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  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>1</lj:reply-count>
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  <pubDate>Sun, 21 Aug 2005 18:53:19 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Yet another quiz</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/5848.html</link>
  <description>&lt;img src=&quot;http://images.quizilla.com/B/bisybackson/1075355241_zzermohair.jpg&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; alt=&quot;You are Mohair&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;You are Mohair.&lt;br /&gt;You are a warm and fuzzy type who works well with&lt;br&gt;others, doing your share without being too&lt;br&gt;weighty. You can be stubborn and absolutely&lt;br&gt;refuse to change your position once it is set,&lt;br&gt;but that&apos;s okay since you are good at covering&lt;br&gt;up your mistakes. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://quizilla.com/users/bisybackson/quizzes/What%20kind%20of%20yarn%20are%20you%3F/&quot;&gt; &lt;font size=&quot;-1&quot;&gt;What kind of yarn are you?&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt; &lt;font size=&quot;-3&quot;&gt;brought to you by &lt;a href=&quot;http://quizilla.com&quot;&gt;Quizilla&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I&apos;d rather be Koigu! ;)</description>
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  <pubDate>Sun, 21 Aug 2005 18:51:27 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Quiz</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/5509.html</link>
  <description>&lt;img src=&quot;http://images.quizilla.com/P/pyokoo/1034991809_nloadsally.jpg&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; alt=&quot;Sally: The Rag Doll&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;Sally is pretty cool. She seems a bit too quiet in&lt;br&gt;the movie. But I like how she would do anything&lt;br&gt;for Jack. It&apos;s so sweet. ^_^ &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://quizilla.com/users/pyokoo/quizzes/What%20The%20Nightmare%20Before%20Christmas%20character%20are%20you%3F%20/&quot;&gt; &lt;font size=&quot;-1&quot;&gt;What The Nightmare Before Christmas character are you? &lt;/font&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt; &lt;font size=&quot;-3&quot;&gt;brought to you by &lt;a href=&quot;http://quizilla.com&quot;&gt;Quizilla&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/font&gt;</description>
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  <lj:music>Law &amp; Order SVU</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Law &amp; Order SVU</media:title>
  <lj:mood>lazy</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://katann23.livejournal.com/5136.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 13 Feb 2005 06:30:10 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Catching Up on the Friday Five</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/5136.html</link>
  <description>Catching up on the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.livejournal.com/community/thefridayfive/&quot;&gt;friday five&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;February 4, 2005&lt;br /&gt;&lt;ol&gt;&lt;br /&gt;     &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How old were you when you got your drivers license?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;16 and a half&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br /&gt;      &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Did you get your own car right away, use the family car, or bum rides from friends?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My dad was out to sea about 6 months out of the year so I used his car when he was out to sea, and we shared it when he was home.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br /&gt;      &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What was your first car and what was it like?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My first car was a 1989 Ford Escort.  It was a two door automatic with no air conditioning.  It had a tape player, though.  It was pale yellow.  It was ugly, to be frank.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br /&gt;     &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How old were you when you got your first traffic ticket and what happened?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I was 31 I think.  I was driving home for Thanksgiving and I got a ticket for going 79 in a 55 zone.  I was in a rental car.  B. had made fun of me for renting a practical Ford Escort as my rental, instead of something fun.  I thought I was picking a practical car so I would drive safe and not get a ticket.  Go figure.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;February  11. 2005&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;ol&gt;&lt;br /&gt;     &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Would you rather live in a world with or without technology such as computers, cars, airplanes, bombs?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;With, I&apos;m a tv junkie.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br /&gt;     &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt; If you had to live without either heating in your house or air conditioning, which one would you keep?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Air conditioning, because I can always buy a million fans, but after the ice storm a couple years ago, I know I&apos;m not too interested in not having heat.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br /&gt;     &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If you had to own five dogs, what kind would you get?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Wow.  I don&apos;t think I would ever want more than two dogs at once.  Lazy ones.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br /&gt;     &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;If the world had a front porch, what would you do on it?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Smoke cigarettes.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br /&gt;     &lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Would you rather live in a neighborhood where you know all of your neighbors by name, or where everyone sticks to their own business?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I guess it depends on who the neighbors are.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/ol&gt;</description>
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  <lj:music>The Shield on dvd</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">The Shield on dvd</media:title>
  <lj:mood>productive</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
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  <pubDate>Wed, 29 Dec 2004 18:59:41 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Farewell, Lennie Briscoe....</title>
  <link>http://katann23.livejournal.com/5050.html</link>
  <description>Those of you who know me, know I love Law and Order.  Those of you who *really* know me, know that I had to quit watching Law and Order this season because my very favorite character, Lennie Briscoe, left the show.  The show was missing something after he left.  I had been anxiously awaiting the arrival of Jerry Orbach&apos;s new series which was to air in January.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sadly, Jerry Orbach died last night after losing the battle to prostate cancer.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For details:  &lt;a href=&quot;http://1010wins.com/topstories/local_story_364094126.html&quot;&gt;http://1010wins.com/topstories/local_story_364094126.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I am sad.  Sigh.</description>
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  <lj:mood>sad</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>2</lj:reply-count>
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  <pubDate>Sun, 26 Dec 2004 04:05:48 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Merry Christmas</title>
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  <description>&lt;img src=&quot;http://images.quizilla.com/1/17catherines/1070091967_Silentnight.jpg&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; alt=&quot;Silent Night&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;You are &apos;Silent Night&apos;!  You really enjoy&lt;br&gt;Christmas, and you like your Christmases&lt;br&gt;conventional.  For you, Christmas is about&lt;br&gt;family and traditions, and you rather enjoy the&lt;br&gt;rituals of going to church at midnight and&lt;br&gt;turning off the lights before flaming the plum&lt;br&gt;pudding.  Although you find Christmas shopping&lt;br&gt;frustrating, you like the excitement of&lt;br&gt;wrapping and hiding presents, and opening a&lt;br&gt;single door on the Advent Calendar each day.&lt;br&gt;You like the traditional carols, and probably&lt;br&gt;teach the children to sing along to them.  More&lt;br&gt;than anyone else, you will probably actually&lt;br&gt;have a merry Christmas.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://quizilla.com/users/17catherines/quizzes/What%20Christmas%20Carol%20are%20you%3F/&quot;&gt; &lt;font size=&quot;-1&quot;&gt;What Christmas Carol are you?&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt; &lt;font size=&quot;-3&quot;&gt;brought to you by &lt;a href=&quot;http://quizilla.com&quot;&gt;Quizilla&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/font&gt;</description>
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  <lj:mood>happy</lj:mood>
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